When it was time to renew our membership, let's just say the kids were less than enthusiastic, but I wanted to still be able to have the benefits of membership.
Yesterday we went roller skating with our homeschool group.
I love using teachable moments with my children, but there are some lessons I wish I could avoid. Yesterday, my daughter made a friend right away and the girls skated and giggled together for about 30 minutes. Then my daughter came to me with moist eyes and told me the her friend said she could not skate with her anymore because her grandmother did not like us. I explained that this was apart of life and we need to make sure that we never treat other people like that and so on and so forth. But I was led to approach the grandmother. I explained to her that my child was sad that she could no longer skate with her grandchild and ask if it was because of our race or because of my size. (I am a very large woman.) she hemmed and hawed and got very flustered and said she did not mean it like that and would talk to her grandchild. Five minutes later the child came back over and said she could skate with her now.
While I felt protective of my child, I could only feel sad for the little girl that would be taught the lesson that should be erased from all curriculum.
Anyway... here is a short video.
Oh, and that 8lbs, 1oz.... Well when we got home, we got a call from the agency that they had a 4 week old baby boy that needed placement. He is a cutie and such a peanut.
And on we go!
9 comments:
Congrats on the new arrival but I feel awful for your dd. We have experienced the same in our group. We have 150 family and only 3 are African American and 1 family is Phillipian. Everyone is stand offish and only a few will interact. There is just no excuse for ignorance. I explain to my dc the same as you have but it still hurts them all the same. We attend a nondenominational church that has a diverse congregation and I have still heard comments mentioned through children as far as their dating other races. It's pure stupidity than has transcended through generations.
Wow! I don't know if to cry or spit nails so I'm just going to pray for that family. I'm so sorry you and your children were treated this way. Our 4 kids were all adopted through foster care and we have gotten some of this because of stereotypes about "those kids". But because our kids look like us (not really, but we're all caucasian and skin color is sadly as deep as some folks bother to look), we only occasionally deal with isolation.
I think your family is one beautiful rainbow. How others miss that, I honestly don't know. Ignorance. Upbringing. Prejudice. It's not right. I do commend you for taking the time to address it with that grandmother. I hope it causes her to stop and think. One can only hope.
Too bad you don't live near us. My kids LOVE new friends and we would be happy to hang out together. Btw, CONGRATS on the call for the newborn. I'm a bit envious, as we are no longer licensed (moved out of state).
Blessings,
~Toni~
Btw, the assumptions with our children have often caught us off guard. For example, it would have never occurred to me that people would think this of us, but it's come up. Some folks have said, "Wow, it must have been really hard to get all white babies, huh?" First, we loathe the assumption that one baby is more valuable than another because of skin color (don't even get me started on private adoption fee scales based on that, grrrr!) But what we NEVER thought is that people would assume we only wanted caucasian children. That is not the case for us. We were open to any race or gender and up to age 5at the time, including sibling groups. What we got was our four kids, one at a time. And we got caucasian babies (we believe) because of the demographics where we lived. We were out in the middle of nowhere, in the country, with a small population that was probably 98% caucasian. And our agency did take demographics into consideration when placing. So it was out of our hands, but we would have GLADLY welcomed any child and make sure to clarify that whenever the "white baby" comment comes up.
Sorry to babble on. I could go on all day about this (and almost did, lol)
Blessings,
~Toni~
Toni,
I get the same thing about how they "let me" adopt Caucasian children. It is like Keisha said... pure stupidity.
:)De
Christ's love is all encompassing; too bad us humans aren't so Christlike sometimes. I hope those folks have your blog address so they can see how loving and open and honest about it--not to mention forgiving-- you are.
Oh, my.
I'm so sorry you and your little girl had to go through this. You know it's so sad that in 2009 we still have many many bridges to build when it comes to racial equality and racism in general.
I try to teach Baby Boy to love all and give a little extra love to those who are so miserable that that hate literally leaks out of them. We can't change them, but we can change the way we react to them, and that's all.
I really commend you for having the presence of mind to approach that lady with a gentle spirit; I'm not sure if I could have pulled that off. I hope that little girl, your little girl, and that other lady all learned something today.
P.S. I LOVE roller skating!
I'm sorry about the bad homeschool group experience. Are you anywhere near Kentucky? You can come to our group.
Congratulations on the baby!
This isn't the hs group I've talked to you about is it?!? Wow, makes me seriously reconsider it if that's the prevailing attitude.
:)De, there are all kinds of prejudices out there. I tell my kids, "Just do the next right thing." You responded perfectly and your daughter did too, you both did the next right thing. Blessings on your family and on the adorable new baby.
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